


At My Own Suggestion (I Will Ask No Questions)

by killyourstarlings



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Post-Season 02, Sleep Paralysis, Violence, all hail high priestess and queen of hell, goat daddy's a dick and lilith needs love, zelda is a good girlfriend and gives it to her
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 22:44:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18397865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killyourstarlings/pseuds/killyourstarlings
Summary: "That was the trouble with borrowing bodies: there was always a wrench in the works, somewhere.  Mary Wardwell’s wrench was sleep paralysis."Post-Season 2 -- Lilith has sleep paralysis.  Zelda takes care of her.





	At My Own Suggestion (I Will Ask No Questions)

* * *

_And you can use my skin, to bury secrets in_

_And I will settle you down…_

_And at my own suggestion, I will ask no questions_

_While I do my thing in the background._

\- “I Know” by Fiona Apple.

* * *

_“No one before me.”_

It started as a whisper, tickling her ear.

She didn’t look up toward it — she wasn’t entirely sure she’d heard it, and she did hear things, sometimes.  Human ears were tricky; the wind played with them, the rustle in the leaves, the murmur of conversations being held around her but not with her.  She tried to pay attention, truly.  She tried to catch pieces, to show she cared.

_“Lilītu…”_

Like a spark up her spine, she was brought to attention.  The word was close enough, quiet enough to be Zelda’s, though her face was turned away.  She and her niece walked in lockstep, shoes whispering with the forest floor, voices low and muddy in their murmurs.  Lilith was no part of the discussion, save her hand in Zelda’s, captured, a pendulum between them.

Mistaken, she returned to her step.  Something urged her to return home.

_“ **Slave**.”_

“What?” Lilith asked, head whipping up.  Zelda nor Sabrina acknowledged her question — she squeezed Zelda’s hand for attention, to no avail.  “Did you say something?”

Whatever they were discussing was too engaging, a blur of quick-paced rebuttal; and by now, she couldn’t seem to catch up.  She tried — furrowed her brow in focus, leaned forward to try to see their faces — but it was as though they were _working_ to keep her out.  Perhaps that was earned.

Her chest thumped like a knock on a door, someone asking for entrance, someone bringing a warning.  Her grip tightened, numbing, hardly the feeling of a hand left in it.

_“ **You shall have no-** ”_

Lilith lurched at the blaring voice in her ear, stumbled over her own step — Zelda had released her at some moment, and she fell freely.  She was only caught by a hand around her throat, a jolt like whiplash, a breath choked backward.  Her arms, out to catch herself, scrambled for the dirt.

“Z-”

_“ **You shall love no one before me** ,” _He snarled in her ear, and she knew Him by His touch before she heard a single word.  She strained against Him, only to cut off her own breath — nails piercing her flesh, bruising and trembling.  _“ **You shall serve me all your days** …”_

“No-” she choked out, a statement more of disbelief than denial.  This was trickery — a pretender, somewhere, preying on her.  He was incapacitated, trapped in a human vessel, writhing in the Pit-

Vision spun as she was jerked upright, brought as possession to His bare chest, a familiar station.  His other hand caught her jaw and directed her toward their audience: Zelda and Sabrina, stood motionless, emotionless before her.  She fought for a breath.

“ _Is this… where you’ve been?_ ”

Sabrina convulsed, drawn up by the neck, a ragdoll to an invisible child.

“ _No_ -”  Lilith wrenched away from Him, stinging pain where He clenched at her, ringing in her ears from the pressure.

A low chuckle itched inside her head.  Sabrina began to vibrate.

_“Playing with **my** toys?”_

“Lucifer of-”

Brimstone filled her lungs as His hand sprawled over her mouth, her spell still mumbled into His skin until her throat closed under His grasp.  She tried to bite — she tried to kick, but her body would not respond.  He was in control.

_“Lil-ith,”_ He hissed, almost sang, a tune she knew by heart.  His lips brushed over her ear, breath burning.  _“Queen of Hell, abandoning her kingdom to rub shoulders with witches.  Pathetic, what you’ll do for affection.”_

A wet kiss touched just under her ear, and she winced.

_“But we already knew that.”_

A horrible cracking noise, and her whole body jumped.

Sabrina’s head fell limp to her shoulder; she sank to the forest floor like putty, mess into the earth, a problem solved.  Lilith tried to scream.

_“You’re not sad,”_ He said — and forced her face down toward the pile of witch on the ground.  She wanted to close her eyes.  _“You don’t love them.  You’re incapable.”_

“Stop,” she pleaded through the muffle of His skin, shaking her head as much as He would let her.  His laugh was nauseating.

With grinding resistance, He turned her gaze away.

_“These do not belong to you.”_

He set her face toward Zelda, whose eyes shone with tears and hellfire.  Lilith’s heart slammed against her chest — she lunged away from Him, held fast, not an inch of leverage, but she did not stop-

_“And **you** ,” _He said, through an audible grin, _“belong… to me.”_

Zelda was grabbed up, collected for the slaughter — Lilith’s shrieks were stifled, even the birds unbothered in their trees — and she raged against His arms, ignored the searing pain of blood dripping from her throat, sobbed for breath as her head went light, _no_ , **_no_** -

Zelda snapped, in two, fallen too swift for catching — dead, as easily as any thing.  The wind rang goodnight.

_“No one before me,”_ echoed around her, filling the air.  Her eyes blurred over with tears, numbing all the way down.  _“No one before me.”_

She wanted to scream.  She tried to scream.  Her throat ached but she couldn’t _scream_.

_“No one before me.”_

Her eyes broke open like a prison door, her world weeping into black, her back slick and stiff as a board.  Screams burned in her throat but didn’t catch air, trapped in her chest, cramping her lungs.  Her pulse was tribal music — her veins danced with pulses, frame pressed tight to the mattress as though bound by ropes and chains.

Lilith wept.

It was all she could do in this state — paralyzed at every muscle, mind awake before her body, twitching in her own skin — or skin that was relatively her own.  That was the trouble with borrowing bodies: there was always a wrench in the works, somewhere.  Mary Wardwell’s wrench was sleep paralysis.

She got out a noise, finally.  It was weak, and it trembled in her throat, passing numbly through her lips — but she got it out, a whimper, and it built into a sob…

That was enough.  The sheets shifted beside her.

Lilith couldn’t turn her head to see, but Zelda was there, rousing from a more comfortable sleep to the tune of Lilith’s quiet shrieking.  She rolled onto her side, arm bumping into Lilith under the sheets; there, it snaked across her, hooked at her waist.

“Shh…”

Lilith shuddered, chest heaving with swallowed breaths.  Half-asleep, Zelda buried her face in Lilith’s neck and sighed.  “It’s all right.”

It was most certainly fucking _not_ all right.  Lilith couldn’t say this right now, but she queued it up for later.

Still, for a moment, this did bring her down to breathing.  Her whole body vibrated, humiliatingly noticeable — she squeezed her eyes shut and centered on the pressure of Zelda’s arms, the lips on her skin, the breath in her ear… the whispers, in her… ear… the hand around her _neck_ …

She couldn’t breathe; her eyes snapped open.

“Breathe.”

Human eyes played tricks, too — shadows crawling along the ceiling, inching overhead, threatening to pounce down on her caving chest.  They wanted her.  He was alive, and He wanted her, and they would obey Him.  Her hand twitched under the sheets, trying to force the feeling up her arm…

Tears ran down past her ears, and one must have hit Zelda; she looked up, and Lilith’s breath hitched.

“Lilith,” Zelda said, in that low, practical voice.  She sat up on her elbow, and Lilith turned her head as much as she could, hiding her face.  “Look at me.”

She swallowed hard.  Her arm managed a jerk, her ankle a twitch, her fingers a grasp on the sheets, even as Zelda’s hand slid down over her own.

This had happened before now, and this was all Zelda ever did — held her, eased her back to sleep.  She never asked about the dreams, no matter how curious she must have been…

A hand brushed over her face, slow, gentle strokes.  Her eyes fell shut.

“You’re all right.  Shh…”

She never asked.

Her thumb settled over Lilith’s aching jaw, an innocent touch — and Lilith lurched from the bed.

“Nh- no,” she managed through unmoving lips, half-upright though her tingling arm threatened to cave under the pressure.  “No.  No.”

Without looking, she could sense Zelda’s confusion.  “It’s just me.  Come here.”

Zelda reached out — only to pat the mattress, Lilith would discover after the fact — and Lilith fell out of the bed, barely catching herself on legs she could barely feel, and trusted primarily on instinct.  She caught herself on the bedside table and doubled over, knees fighting to keep her up-

“Lilith, say something so I know-”

“He’s-” she said, swallowing.  Zelda was slipping out of the sheets behind her; Lilith leaned on one hand while the other scrambled for the blanket.  “He’s coming.”

“What are you talking about?”

She caught the blanket by the corner and drew it up to cover herself.  When she turned, she found Zelda had rounded the bed and now stood before her, in her nightgown, a look of worry spelled over her face — eyes shining in the moonlight, like hellfire.

“He’s coming back,” Lilith tried through panting breaths, gaze running frantic over Zelda, trying to shake hazy images from her mind.  “I can- I can _feel_ it.”

The words hung in the air, the house silent around them.  Zelda drew a deep breath… then let it out, softening on Lilith.

“Lilith…”

“And when He- and I can’t-”  She nearly fell over here, trying to come off the nightstand — and Zelda stepped closer, no matter how she shook her head.   “I can’t protect you, from…”

“Shh.”

“ _Him_ ,” she huffed out, even as Zelda’s arms came around her, drawing her into a sleepy embrace.  Eyes unfocusing, gazing off over Zelda’s shoulder, she muttered, “I can’t kill him.”

“Never mind that.”  Zelda pressed kiss to her hair, gentle against the firmness of her tone.  “It was just a dream.”

“ _This_ is a dream,” Lilith said, drawing back to look at her despite the tears burning in her eyes.  “This is a _dream_ , and I can’t- have it, I’m not- I’m not mine.”

“Lilītu,” she whispered, just a word in a thunderstorm of words — but it brought Lilith to a quiet.  Zelda looked her dead in the eye, and reached up to brush the hair from her face.

Lilith bit her lip, hard.

“You are yours,” Zelda said, so simply, so honestly that Lilith was inclined to believe her.  She tucked the hair back behind Lilith’s ear before drawing her back into her embrace…

And despite herself, and the adrenaline coursing through her veins, Lilith did let her shoulders cave, and her head fall into the embrace.  Zelda’s lips found her ear, a soft kiss, and worked down her neck.  Lilith exhaled a shaky breath.

And buried deep in her hair, Zelda added with a fervent, jealous growl, “And **_mine_**.”

Lilith caught her breath, then, somewhere between shock and relief.  Her eyes closed, and she soaked in that for a moment.

There was a promise in those words — as terrifying as warming — to think that perhaps, there existed an even _stronger_ claim to her soul.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for weeks now but I wanted to wait and see where Part 2 left us -- binged it in 48 hours #noragrets. Anyway thanks for reading and if you leave me a review I'll probably cry thanks <3


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